Drink Recipes

The staff at NB is well versed in the hooch. Few posts are written in a state of complete sobriety. This practice has led to the fatality of many innocent brain cells and Bothans, but it has also provided us with a wide array of drink recipes. Listed below is a guide to preparing drinks (as preferred by NB), so you can pretend to be as drunk and clever as your favorite NB journalist!

Americano
Ingredients: Campari, Sweet Vermouth, Soda Water
Glass: Babushkup
Garnish: None
Prepare: Fill glass two-thirds with ice, pour soda water to ice level, top with equal parts Campari and sweet vermouth, enjoy
NB Says: A great drink to sip while watching a morning NBA contest. When the negroni is a bit much, call in the Americano.

Blackberry Brandy Fizz
Ingredients: Blackberry Brandy, Soda Water
Glass: Collins
Garnish: None
Prepare: Fill glass two-thirds with ice, add three-quarters soda, top with brandy, give it one swirl with a spoon.
NB Says: Blackberry Brandy is best straight from the bottle and into your belly, but this is a more accessible way.

Broken Toe
Ingredients: White Wine, Sparkling Lemon Water
Glass: Highball
Garnish: None
Prepare: Fill galss halfway with ice, fill half with white wine, the other half with sparkling water.
NB Says: A great summer time drink! Enjoy on the patio, while watching the Bulls, or right after you broke your toe, sucka!

Cider & Cap’t
Ingredients: Cider (Apple or Pear), Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum
Glass: Mug
Garnish: Cinnamon Stick (if you are a chick)
Prepare: Heat up cider in a kettle until it whistles, fill mug one-quarter with Cap’t, the rest with cider, add cinnamon stick (if you are a chick).
NB Says: Perfect tailgating drink in cold weather.

Corpse Reviver
Ingredients: Gin, Lillet, Cointreau, Lemon Juice, Absinthe
Glass: Cocktail Glass
Garnish: Orange Peel
Prepare: Load shaker with ice, add an ounce of gin, Cointrea, Lillet, a splash of absinthe, and half of a lemon’s worth of juice, shake like you mean it, drain into a cocktail glass, add orange peel, enjoy.
NB Says: Super smooth with a licorice twang, be careful – you can get awfully fugged up, awfully quick.

Dean-O Martini
ingredients: Gin, Dry Vermouth, Lime-Flavored Sparkling Water
Glass: Cocktail
Garnish: None
Prepare: Load shaker with ice, add gin and vermouth, shake for twenty seconds, strain into glass, top with sparkling water.
NB Says: A lighter take on the traditional martini.

Death in the Afternoon
Ingredients: Absinthe, Champagne
Glass: Flute
Garnish: None
Prepare: As Ernesto Hemmingway himself said in Death in the Afternoon, “Pour one jigger absinthe into a Champagne glass. Add iced Champagne until it attains the proper opalescent milkiness. Drink three to five of these slowly.”
NB Says: What is good enough for the man, is good enough for me.

Five-Ka
Ingredients: Vodka, Five Hour Energy
Glass: Rocks
Garnish: None
Prepare: combine 2.5 ounces of vodka and a Five Hour Energy in rocks glass.
NB Says: Down one of these when you get back from the bar and need to review a Bulls-Timberwolves game!

Hualapai
Ingredients: Canadian Club Whiskey, Soda
Glass: Pint
Garnish: Lemon twist
Prepare: Pack pint glass with ice, add two ounces of CC, fill with soda, top with lemon twist.
NB Says: Perfect for dark bars with video poker and the Bulls.

Journalist
Ingredients: Gin, Orange Curacao, Sweet Vermouth, Dry Vermouth, Lemon Juice, Bitters
Glass: Martini
Garnish: Orange Slice
Prepare: Combine three parts gin, with one part of each of the other ingredients, save bitters (dash), into a shaker with ice, shake, strain into a martini glass, garnish with orange slice.
NB Says: Smooth with a little spice and citrus. Pour one and take it out on the patio to enjoy with a good book on a summer day.

Madras
Ingredients: Vodka, Cranberry Juice, Orange Juice
Glass: Highball
Garnish: None
Prepare: Fill highball with ice, add vodka to about one third, fill with cranberry, leaving enough at the top for a splash of oranage juice, stir ingredients together.
NB Says: A great morning drink (especially for those 10AM Sunday Bulls games), but beware of the weak pour, one weak Madras in the morning will only make you angry.

Negroni
Ingredients: Campari, Gin, Sweet Vermouth
Glass: Rocks
Garnish: Orange Peel
Prepare: Add all three ingredients with ice, stir, add garnish.
NB Says: A refreshing drink with sneaky punch. If you complain about a “medicine” taste in some drinks, the Negroni is probably not for you. I think it is one of my new favorites. I have it speed dial.

Methadone Cocktail
Ingredients: Methadone & Water
Glass: Your favorite water vessel
Garnish: Dirty mattress on the floor
Prepare: Throw methadone in your mouth, wash down with water
NB Says: When shit need to get done, pop a methadone cocktail and get to work.

NB Manhattan
Ingredients: Maker’s Mark Bourbon, Sweet Vermouth, Angostura Bitters
Glass: Rocks
Garnish: Cherry
Prepare: Pack rocks glass with ice, + one cube for the dog, fill glass three-quarters with whiskey, splash of vermouth and a few dashes of bitters, top off with whiskey and add cherry.
NB Says: The pinnacle in drink making.

NB Martini
Ingredients: Absolut Vodka, Bombay Sapphire Gin, Dry Vermouth, one lemon wheel
Glass: Cocktail
Garnish: Lemon Twist
Prepare: Fill a shaker with ice, add three ounces of vodka & gin, a splash of vermouth, and the juice from the lemon wheel, shake for 20 seconds, strain into the cocktail glass and add lemon twist.
NB Says: Great for when you want to go from zero to hammered in seconds flat.

NB Rob Roy
Ingredients: Johnnie Walker Red Label, Sweet Vermouth, Angostura Bitters
Glass: Rocks
Garnish: None
Prepare: Jam a rocks glass full of ice, pour three-quarters full of Scotch, add a splash of sweet vermouth and a couple of dashes of bitters, top off with Scotch.
NB Says: Best thing to come out of Brittain since David Bowie.

Old Pal
Ingredients: Campari, rye whiskey, and dry vermouth
Glass: Cocktail
Garnish: None
Prepare: Add two parts rye to one parts Campari and dry vermouth into a shaker with ice, shake a few times gently, pour into cocktail glasss.
NB Says: Smooth and refreshing, like a dip in the pool that you can get drunk off of.

Oyster Shooters
Ingredients: Oyster, vodka, cocktail sauce, lemon juice, hot sauce, horseradish sauce
Glass: Shooter
Garnish: None
Prepare: In a measuring glass, add two parts cocktail sauce to one part lemon juice, add hot sauce and horseradish sauce to taste. Drop shucked and rinsed oyster into shooter, a table spoon of the cocktail sauce mixture, top with vodka.
NB Says: A great way to start a night. I suggest taking the contents in your mouth, bite the oyster once or twice, then swallowing it all down. Repeat.

Rolf Bird Dog
Ingredients: Bird Dog Blackberry Whiskey, Sweet & Sour Mix
Glass: Old Fashion
Garnish: None
Prepare: Shake two parts whiskey with one part sweet and sour mix, drain into ice filled old fashion glass
NB Says: A surprisingly tasty, light drink. Probably best enjoyed on a summer day on the porch, watching all the pretty girls stroll by.

Vesper Martini
Ingredients: High-End Gin, High-End Vodka, Lillet
Glass: Cocktail
Garnish: Lemon Twist
Prepare: Pack shaker with ice, add three parts gin to one part vodka, splishy splash some dry vermouth, squeeze juice from the center of the lemon twist, shake, drain into cocktail glass, add twist.
NB Says: Pretend you are James Bond as you sip on a classic cocktail – while still looking like you are you.

2 Responses to Drink Recipes

  1. Pingback: No Bulljive

  2. djhatesyou says:

    Can we just rename the Hulapai the Loose Caboose? Maybe the methadone cocktail should be renamed the Loose Caboose too.

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