Game #64: Chicago Bulls 79 – Sacramento Kings 121

Drink Americano/Negroni

Boozer, Belinelli, and Noah on the bench, getting a taste of how difficult it is to watch this team play.

Boozer, Belinelli, and Noah on the bench, getting a taste of how difficult it is to watch this team play.

It is a little known fact that the Americano cocktail (Campari, sweet vermouth, and soda water) evolved into the Negroni (Campari, sweet vermouth, gin). Legend has it that the Negroni was born when the Italian Count Negroni (no shit) wanted an Americano (named after the American tourist who craved the cocktail), but with some balls. Obviously, he chose to replace the one non-alcoholic ingredient with gin. The legend is probably not true, but fuck you, it rules.

My watching of this game took a similar evolution. I started it sipping on Americanos. Yet, when the Bulls wasted no time to display that they had little interest in playing basketball, and were down double digits early, I upped the ante, Count Negroni-style, and broke out the gin. Hell, that was not even enough. As halftime rolled around and the Bulls were down 65-36 to the fucking Kings of Sacramento, I muted the game, popped in Pulp’s This is Hardcore, and started reading the phone book. By the time this shitstorm ended, I had gotten to Navin R Johnson (a typical run-of-the-mill bastard) and achieved enough of a buzz to pass-out and temporarily forget this contest. Hopefully, the Bulls do not run another Book of Job on their fan-base on Friday when they finish up their three-game road trip in Oakland versus the Warriors of Golden State.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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