Drink: Death’s Door Vespa Martini
As Joakim Noah admitted, this would not be just another game. How could it be? Since the days of Jordan and Pippen vs. Bimbo Coles and Harold (baby jordan) Minor, this has never been just another game. Recent Bulls heroes in this series have included Noah, Deng and John Lucas III. So what would this latest installment bring to the storied rivalry? Just another game. A bad one at that if you pull for Los Toros.
Up until a couple weeks ago, many felt D-Rose would be back for this tilt. But with Rose recently stabbing Bulls fans directly in the hope, that was not to be. Add to that the ho-hum absence of Cap’n Kirk, we would get the fully monty that is Little Man Nate Robinson.
Early in the game, Noah was the only Bull giving a damn. Nate was Bad Rex. TheBron didn’t miss a shot in the half. The game was tied after one, then the Bulls held themselves to 13 2nd quarter points with 17 first-half turnovers. Birdman Chris Anderson gave the Heat some toughness that doesn’t show in the box score. He was added to the Heat as a project, but he seems to be hitting his defensive and tenacious rebounding old self. (Sidenote: Good to see Birdman back. He has a tattoo that looks like he’s promoting Live Free or Die Hard. He has the name Birdman, which makes me think of Charlie Parker, which is appropriate because both of them LOVED needles.)
Famed hooker-biter Marv Albert was on the TNT call and could not understand why Bulls fans booed loudly whenever TheBron would wind the clock down on the last possession of each quarter. He thought it was because they were wasting time and not because the ball was in the hands of TheBron James, the most hated player Bulls fans have known since Bill Laimbeer’s child-bearing hips.
The 3rd quarter featured some TheBron dominance and continued Bulls floundering. However, the sloppiest and most gratifying minute in the history of NBA basketball (that did not involve a point being scored) saw TheBron throw the ball towards the rafters on a dunk attempt, then Wade miss on the break while claiming one of his frail body parts were hacked, before David Stern instructed Mario Chalmers to foul Marquis Teague before the very fabric of the game could become completely unraveled. That was the highlight of the quarter.
The fourth quarter had the Heat in coast mode. TheBron hit anything he wanted. I will never be a fan of his and will fight for Jordan being the better player until my dying breath, but it is incredible to watch him destroy the game. The Bulls effort made this the most forgettable game in this rivalry since the pre-daredevil Jay Williams days.
Loul Deng had the quietest game I can remember under coach Thibs. Is it only obvious to me that Rip Van Hamilton is on Performance Debilitating Drugs? Do they test for PDD in the NBA? The Bulls bench was anemic. Marco Belinelli and J-But were awful in failing to hit a shot from the field. Belinelli may have a Teen Wolf beard, but unless Mar-Bel can bite a beer can open, that’s where their ballin’ abilities end.
It’s obvious that the Heat are the best team in at least the East. Even if D-Rose comes back, this season is the Heat’s to lose. This season’s Stages of Grief has reached Acceptance.