Drink Vesper Martini
Going into tonight’s duel, the Bulls had not lost to the Pistons since the Middle Ages, a time when horseless carriages did not exist – thus, why the Pistons moniker? Nevermind, sage, the main story line is that the Bulls continued their 600+ year streak over the Pistons of Detroit. (Side Note: If you are ever feeling down about any of the Bulls’ woes, check out a Pistons pregame show before a Bulls game. Holy crow, their “positive twist” coming into tonight’s game was hysterical – if you are not a Pistons fan [Side, Side Note: Who is?!] – spouting things like, (not verbatim, but pretty much) “This is a different team since the last time the Bulls kicked their dick in the dirt. They now box out much better.” [Ed. Note: Noah had 18 rebounds]) Even with said laughable winning streak extending, it was not all candy bars, “And 1!”s, and
roses flowers tonight. In fact, despite how enticing as a 82-85 final sounds, the game was not eye candy. (Yes, I have been craving a Snickers on this current liquid diet.) Bulls fans recovering from major surgery would have been advised by their doctors to miss most of this contest, as Bulls looked allergic to offense (more so than usual). However, to give credit where credit goes to rot, the Pistons did play some solid D.
Luckily, to the tirelessly faith Bulls fan, the game picked up as the second half progressed – when the Pistons kept offering up the game on a platter. Largely, the goodness went down in the fourth. As many times as the Bulls played ‘pretend’ in the third, it was not until the fourth that they made their move. And the momentous swing cam via one Nathaniel Cornelius Robinson. The man who never met a shot he did not like, (singlehandedly) threw things at the rim that went in for a few minutes, jumped around like a clown (which he largely is), and got the UC bumping. During that magical stretch, Nathaniel was a member of the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Generals – I am pretty sure he pulled out a faux bucket of water that turned out to be confetti (HIYO! Never gets old!), but I am still trying to confirm this.
Nathaniel’s play was the catalyst to the Bulls waiting until six minutes left to take a lead. After that lead, the Bulls were on cruise control to pull out their 82nd consecutive victory over the Pistons… but… then… the Bulls did the one thing that the Bulls have consistently done over this season: Close out a game in the most unconvincing fashion possible! Huzzah!
Al Pacino! Attica! Attica! Attica! One Mr. L. Deng did not start again tonight. In his stead, one Mr. James B. started in the small forward position. After being a so-called “Kobe Stopper,” James put on a shitshow in the first half, going 1-8 FG, and that ONE field goal was a dunk. Then the second half came down with a hammer, leaving Jimmy with 18 points (5-6 FG in the 2nd half), nine rebounds, and four assists for the game. … Kirk Hinrich had his one contribution to the season against the Lakers on Monday (unless you count on intangibles like: tough, leader, SamSmith, grit), and he promptly followed it up with an 0-5 FG, three assist, three rebound, two turnover (over 34 minutes!) performance. Bravo! … Meanwhile, you could definitely judge Noah’s performance tonight with the same Sam Smith criteria, in ADDITION to backing it up with stats like 10 points, 18 rebounds, and five turnovers (eh), in a somewhat quiet game. What was not quiet was a play-of-the-game save, as Noah dove out of bounce (with the game tied, seconds ticking), to get the ball to Bellini for a bucket – and one. It capped off the game and the Bulls season, in many ways.