Avoiding Hellholes: The Taj Gibson Extension

Taj dunks on some bitch.

The letdown that was the offseason had me heading into the last day for a Taj Gibson extension (Halloween) with little-to-no hope of it actually bearing fruit. Then –BLAMO! – I throw up a review on last night’s game, only to learn that the Bulls tied up my second favorite player for four more years! Screw Obama or Romeny, Taj for president! FOUR! MORE! YEARS!

Our new president was locked up on approximately eight million a year, with bonuses kicking it up to a possible $38 million over the length of the deal. Taj was said to be looking for more and the Bulls probably got a discounted price for his services. That hardly matters to me, as I care much, much more about Taj being on the team than him receiving a fair wage for his services (especially when that wage is of the multi-million dollar variety).

Taj was said to have tears in his eyes as he talked about the freshly announced deal. His doggish loyalty can only make you like Taj even more. He pointed to love of the team, and wanted to avoid making more, but having to play “in some hellhole.” That part made me chuckle, and also made me wonder if he had a particular hellhole in mind. (Detroit?) Then he pulled the jinx out, saying that he wanted security, as, “At any given moment, I could pull a groin or hurt my knee.” Hush up, Taj!

Overall, this is a great move for the Bulls. The Bulls secure the services of a great defensive-minded power forward who can fill in for Boozer when the team is looking shutdown their opponents in exchange for shouted profanities. Also, if Boozer were to leave for some reason (say, get pushed off a cliff or launched into space), Taj is more than adequate to start in his stead. As an added bonus, Taj is a power forward who dunks (which is not always commonplace on the Bulls), and dunks are fun. Yippie! And finally, the extension gives me a reason to post a picture of him dunking on Wade. All is well.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in Bulls Not Getting the Shaft and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Avoiding Hellholes: The Taj Gibson Extension

  1. Goodluckjanine says:

    I vote for the launching of Boozer into space.

  2. sirbriang2 says:

    As far as launching things into space goes, I say consult Johnny Depp. He footed most of the bill for Hunter S. Thompson’s cremains.

    I would just like to express my shock that your reaction to a Taj resigning did not include a single reference to your panties dropping or getting wet. For shame!

  3. djhatesyou says:

    Why didn’t he just say “Well, I didn’t want to pull a Ben Gordon.”

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