Preseason Fever, Catch It!

Have you not been paying attention to the Bulls preseason? Good for you. I wish I could say the same. Instead, I have subjugated myself to the pain of three preseason games and whatever it was that happened in Minnesota. The internet and my television set told me – swore to me – that there was a game scheduled against the Timberwolves this last Saturday. So I tuned in like a good little Bulls fan. And for my loyalty, I witnessed something akin to a snuff film. I guess that is what it means to be a Bulls fan during these dark times.

It is not all bad. Joakim Noah has looked strong. And, of all players, Kirk Hinrich has looked like something that I will not hate as much as I guessed this summer. And there is always the wily Nathaniel Cornelius Robinson. Those are kinds of promising signs, right? Plus, it has only been three games and one twisted joke, right?

Right! Now, on to the ugly! The ugliness is, and likely will be for sometime, their offense. In particular, the half-court flavor is what tastes like a poo sundae. (Pass me the sprinkles!) This is hardly surprising nor a headline, but without Rose, the Thibs offensive system of givetheballtoRose does not quite click (almost as if a key ingredient was left out). In its stead, we are left with Hinrich (sigh) or pocket-sized Cornelius (Yipes!) to unlock opponents’ defenses. It is like a poo key.

Wasn’t there a bunny with fangs in Natural Born Killers? (Note: Watch NBK Friday night, when the Bulls are playing the Wolves again.)

To compound this regrettable scenario, Carlos Boozer has proven he is still stellar at compounding regrettable scenarios. Booz’s game seems to have devolved (even more) over the warm days of summer. Yes, as mentioned above, we have just opened up exhibition play, but if Booz continues his current form, he will be a bunny rabbit by the end of the season. Yes, a darling little bunny. And that is from someone who was brought in to be the second option on offense. If you are keen, you can probably guess who was and is #1 and then conclude that Booz should be the de facto numero uno. On the plus side, he has been a fouling machine the last two contests, which is hardly bunny-esque.

If we venture out to the rest of the roster, the shooting does not get any prettier. When you get beyond the arc, you should stop looking, turn around, and run back home. To put it lightly, the Bulls have struggled from three-point range. To put it bluntly, they have been shittastic – the highlight of which was a 1-19 performance versus the Cavaliers. Glancing at the history of these players does not exactly instill the reader with confidence that the long range shooting will dramatically improve. With that said, I still loath Kyle Korver. I just want that to be clear.

With all of this guff, what is there to look forward to? Well, situations are rarely as bad as reporters or mere bloggers make it seem. …That is all I have.

But I will still #thereturn for some more.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in #thereturn, 2012 Preseason, The Beard and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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