Luol Deng Issues Ultimatum to NASA

Luol Deng jacked up his wrist in what seems like an eternity ago. I suppose in many ways it was. Back then: the Bulls were considered a title contender (Tres bizarre, no?); the European crisis – well, that shit was still going on; Dwight Howard looked just plain silly, instead of a ridiculously spoiled six year-0ld, complaining that his new pony was too short; no one had heard of PSY, much less a ritzy Seoul district called Gangnam; and I was still waiting on my first kiss. (And I wait on…)

Back in those innocent days, the Bulls and Luol had the option of: A) Undergoing surgery then and there, thus most likely missing the remainder of the season; B) Waiting until the postseason was concluded; C) Playing in the Olympics for the mighty Team GB and then finally getting sliced and diced.

Oddly enough, it looks like Deng is choosing D, none of the above. After being hellbent on a mission that made Pickett’s Charge seem reasonable, Deng stepped down from his Team GB duties and now seems content on waiting it out. Or is he?

In a recent casual talk between Deng and NB, Loul revealed that he is drawing a line in the sand. Deng has declared that he will not get wrist surgery until NASA sends a manned mission to Mars. In an audacious challenge, Deng said he has had enough with the US space agency’s dilly dallying with Mars issue and that he was throwing his wrist into the ring. Deng ranted about “useless robots” making the trek to our nearest neighbor and that, “Oy, I wants to see deez wankers put a bloke on that planet!”

So there you have it! For all of you wondering why on this blue planet Deng would not want to miss the first half of what is lined up to be a miserable season, there it is. Humans + Red Planet = Deng’s Surgery

The ball is in your court, NASA.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in 2012 Offseason, The Man from Sudan and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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