Coming home from vacation to read about the Bulls snatching up Nazr Mohammed and Marco Belinelli was like Christmas in July. With Omer Asik leaving, the Bulls have decided to replace the Turk with two Europeans (Belinelli & Vlad Rad). See what they are doing here? 2 > 1! It is a simple numbers game, people. They also had a decided lack of z’s on the their bench, which Nazr fills up perfectly. If only they could have nabbed an x in the offseason – then I could have upgraded this offseason from “shittastic” to “letterly diverse”. But you play the hand you are dealt, and the Bulls have dealt their fans a two, three, six, nine, and the rules of poker – none of which are suited.
Yet, even losing hands have their silver lining, as our new Korver is Italian and says things like, “He want me so bad.” How could I hate a European stereotype like that more than the original Korver? Yes, he shoots threes, cannot create his own shot, and is allergic to defense, all specialties of the original, but if the fans get to use horrible Italian accents while yelling at the television, do we not all win?
Then there is Nazr. This one is an addition-by-subtraction scenario, as having Nazr on the bench means not putting Vlad Rad in at center and it puts an end to the rumors of the Bulls looking at Darko Milicic. Plus, his name has always reminded me of a villain from an 80s body-count flick. So there’s that.
Look at what a little optimism can do. Don a pair of rose-colored glasses and this offseason suddenly looks like rose-tinted shit! Did I mention that Marquis Teague looked like hell in the summer league, meaning that he has little chance of stealing Hinrich’s starting job like his big brother did in Atlanta? No? You should probably just forget I mentioned it at all. If nothing else, you all can take some consolation from knowing that my vacation was lovely. Also, rest assured, Taj Gibson is way more pissed than any of us.