Question the Answers (or: Last Dead Mouse)

Your Chicago Bulls have ostensibly signed Kirk Hinrich (nothing is official), making this once former Bull current. Hence, the Bulls free agency period looks like it will consist of Hinrich, probably matching the Houston Rockets’ offer for Omer Asik, bringing on a few scrubs, and nixing the guard portion of Unit: DJ TrainWreck (aka: ze Bench Mob) – Watson, Brewer, and Korver. Are ya getting excited for next season yet?!

“Aw shucks, get on my camel and ride,” says the two guard elixir.

Well, you should be! Capt’ Kirk is back! That bastion of leadership who led (loose term) those mediocre, promising Bulls teams of yore is back! And 31! And injury-plagued! But he does now wear safety glasses on the court, ladies! Ole Capt’ Kirk, is always ready for a motobike ride, metal shop, or the hardwood of the NBA (except for when he is injured, and not).

Oh, its not all that bad. KC Johnson of the Trib, thinks it is logical that Hinrich will move to the two guard slot when Rose is back, thus solving all of those silly shooting guard problems of the last two seasons (the latter are my words). Plus, it keeps getting brought up that he is so familiar with this team, as he played his first seven seasons donning the Bulls jersey. This is a bit of a noodle scratcher, as he has only played with four players on the current roster – with one being a backup (Taj) and another will be watching the bulk of next season from the sidelines with one functioning knee and a Roseface.

With the way this roster is being formed, it is looking increasingly likely that they have already passed their brightest window to hang another banner from the UC rafters. I am not getting all doomsday here (OK, maybe a little), but with the way the salary cap is set up and ownership’s hatred of the luxury tax – despite consistently jamming the UC with warm, paying bodies – it is tough to keep the current contracts and add more worthwhile pieces. Add Rose’s injury (and unknown recovery) and untradeable contracts (Booz, Deng), and the prospects of a championship have traveled south of optimistic. That is, until Nikola “the Messiah” Mirotic takes a glorious vessel across the Atlantic, reduces any naysayers to ash, and salts the earth of cities like Miami, OKC, and Las Vegas. (I expect Vegas to have a pro team by the time the Bulls actually see Nikola in the States.)

There is one aspect of Hinrich move I dig. In all honesty, I do actually prefer how Capt’ Kirk spells his last name – thumbing his nose at the “e” that should be in there between the “H” and the “i” – especially so because that spelling would remind me of Heineken, which is absolute shit Dutch beer with a German name. It should be called something like van der Blaatjderf. Hell, I might even drink a couple with a cool Dutch name.

Along the same lines (ish), I threw up the title of this here post thinking I was being all “clever,” then realized it was a title of a Mighty Mighty Bosstones album – an album that marked their departure from good times, to poppy garbage. I will still stand by Don’t Know How to Party, particularly Last Dead Mouse (title has been adjusted to honor that wonderful tune). Merde. With the dinkiest bit of thought, I have now realized that this post should have been titled: Kirk Hinrich: The Return of Kirk Hinrich. (Alas, it is too late.) There are not a whole bunch of opportunities one is given to honor Sonny Chiba in his best role, and I failed. Somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a Judas Pato drinking Buffalo Trace Bourbon and getting this all correct.

Perhaps, in that same beautiful non-title-failing universe, the Bulls are getting it all correct.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in 2012 Offseason, Free Agency, Zero and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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