That’s a bingo!

Juggernaut (Germany) < Supernaut (Italy) = Fact

Ze Germans came into today looking to lay a mighty ThatsABingo on the Itals – and were heavy favorites to nab that very ThatsABingo. Yet, Europe’s leader in World Cup victories told them that you just say “bingo,” and systematically broke down the juggernaut, like you would any termite or roach. I was in the camp that ze Germans would coast in this one, but it is that aforementioned system that was the key which pissed and rained on my camp (Who knew keys could piss and rain?). I, for one, welcomed the Ital showing, as I like piss and rain the Itals and their style. What was truly puzzling was how ze Germans – favorites of system over power – knelt to the Italian Armani style and played outside of their blueprint. The Deutsche Mannschaft (that means “German team,” I swear. I really do.) wandered from their free flowing midfield play, to a more defensive style that seemed hellbent on stopping Andrea Pirlo from getting to the drafting table. Ah yes, it is important that The Architect be stopped – as the English somehow took a pass on – but at the cost of straying from what makes you bag ThatsABingos? It is my theory, in all sports, that if you are the superior bingo player, you force your bingo game on the other side and only adjust if that bingo strategy fails to produce a ThatsABingo. Bingo.

“I will pass on that bingo.”

Sleepy Time v Tiger Snooze
What is the outcome of all this bingoing? A Spain v Italy Euro Final!(?) My previous post made an argument for Spain’s game being tired and boring. The Italian game is traditionally built on a defensive system that is… well, less than exciting. If you are a true fan of the beautiful game, you can appreciate the Ital commitment to that approach. If you are a casual fan, you may find Sunday’s offering (11:45 PST) too soccerish for your tastes. Spain is going to bring more midfielders than a bucket of beer (traditionally, five). Italy will try to contain that midfield and strike on the counter – AKA: play a bogged down bingo.

Super Mario stripped down for the weigh-in for the imaginary fight that is happening in his beautiful brain.


High(as in money)/Drunk(as in booze) Wagerin’

What is at stake for it, as far as your grand ole member of the press is concerned? Well, I have Italy at a 12-1 to win it all and sometime jersey-clad Mario Balotelli at 25-1 for the top scorer. (Holy eff, I just checked my wagering site, and I took Italy to win today’s game in 90 minutes at 4-1! And who said drunken bets do not pay?!) (I did.) Currently, Balotelli taking off his jersey after the second of his brace (two goals in a match) marked him tying the leaders in goals for the tourney. The wager does not specify how a tie works, so I will just assume the riches are flowing to yours truly.

NBA Draft
The NBA Draft happened today as well. ESPN’s none too subtle production was followed by many kids in equally modest suits walking across a stage. The “upsides” were many, as well as “question marks” and if you love unfounded speculation – this was the event for you!

Post of the Year Candidate?
Finally, if you enjoy witty (eff witty, that is the language of our old rulers) hilarious blog posts and cheap beer (or at least, reading about them), ole boy, Danny O’D has my favoritest post of of the ’12.

Wow, this article from a tough-working member of the press has a little bit of everything. “Have a happy,” as the Gum used to say. I am off to watch Inglourious Basterds, jerks!

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in Euro 2012 and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to That’s a bingo!

  1. joelseppi says:

    I don’t even know how to thank you for this post. System does not always win. Power takes his shirt off and stares parking tickets into a German soul. Then Power visited the Germanic hotel after the game and was like, “A bunch of assholes used to live in this part of the building.”

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