Role Play Hey there fellow Heat fanatics. Aren’t we the excited “fan base” these days? I know we’re all eagerly awaiting our “Not one, not two, not three…” titles, but with last season’s NBA Finals setback, road woes, a paper thin bench and LeBron’s crunch-time fadings, are we actually concerned with Los Bulls? I mean, the last time us Heat backers had a Big Three of Rony Seiklay, Glen Rice and Sherman Douglas, at least we had an excuse for losing to M.J., Pippen and the gang. But we had lost our last two games to Chicago coming into this one and Da Rose wasn’t a factor in either meeting. Oh wait, you’re a Heat fan, so you don’t know Seikaly, Rice and Sherm-head. They were on our team in the 90’s. Also, Miami did win a title with Wade a few years back when we had Shaq. What? Yeah, the Heat had Shaq. Yes, that Shaq. How old are you?
Actin’ like lil’ Boshtrich Da Rose missed his 26th game of the season and Chris Bosh sat for the Heat. Rose was celebrating his May GQ cover, while Bosh was resting his boney bird face. Early in the game, Joakim was assertive, though LeBron was also on his game and took Noah to school when he tried to guard The Decision. Deng had a bad ass reverse lay-up. Man alive, if he pushes to the hoop like that in the playoffs, I like our chances. Unfortunately, he didn’t do anything like that the rest of the game. A shot coming out of commercial caught an adult Heat “fan” wearing a jersey with no shirt underneath. It’s the basketball equivalent of adults who wear baseball pants with their jersey. Bron went off for 15 in the first, finishing with 27.
Flagrant Too John Lucas Esquire III shot the Bulls into the lead in the second quarter. Other than that, the rest of the half was ho-hum. Oh wait, there was the whole James Jones incident where he lost his shit and jacked Noah’s grill!!! Jones was kicked out with a Flagrant 2 foul, which is defined in the NBA as, “an intentional foul in which a fringe player from a team rich in prima donna wet turds, goes bat shit crazy and blows up an opponent’s face”.
More Ugly Bumpin’ Where do court-side Heat “fans” hang out during the first five minutes of the 3rd quarter? Are there cock fights and mind blowing piles of blow under the stands? I assume that when you head into the tunnel from the seats, you enter a champagne room where 2 Live Crew regale you with stories about Michael Irvin’s college days. Both teams were out sync in the 3rd. Dwayne Wade shoved Rip to the ground. Bron set a nasty pick that Lucas III took much exception to. Boozer used his intimidating body to… softly attempt a lay-up. Now, I don’t expect the Bulls to lose composure, but the Heat were chippy and physical, and the Bulls could’ve dished out a hard foul here and there. I hope, for so many reasons, that Rip stays healthy. One reason includes the feud that he developed with Wade. The odds are that neither will be healthy if they meet in the conference finals, but a girl can dream.
The Unraveling The Bulls really shrunk in the final stanza. They found no rhythm and got out hustled to loose balls. Taj had himself a game. Korver did not. Taj provided toughness and had timely contributions. Korver had good hair. Wade hit some big shots. Shane Battier picked a prick ass time to finally contribute in Miami, with solid D, a very rude 3-ball and drew a charge. The Bulls looked surly at the end of the game. I like that. It felt like a game they lost last year in the conference finals, and they haven’t felt quite like that in a while. Let’s hope we don’t hear much more about Rose’s ankle fluid and that they get healthy to face the Heat with their full compliment of players in July or whenever the conference finals are scheduled.