Drink: 100% Cranberry Juice & Water
Yeeples, that was a frumpy contest. If you missed this one to say… go out with friends, catch a movie, or read back issues of Cracked, you won. Take a victory lap. This one was so bad… “How bad was it?” It was so bad that the Pistons kept it close through nearly the entire game while shooting 36.9% from the field (compared to the Bulls robust mark of 42.7%) and that is with them starting 8-10. Some credit is due to the Bulls defense, but most of it can be chalked up to a poor team playing without Ben Gordon and Rodney Stuckey while on their third consecutive road game. They almost looked about as gassed and uninterested as the Bulls at times. Please come back, Da Rose. Please.
Flase Idol There were whispers and even “reports” that Old Man Rip was going to play tonight. Why not? He has been listed as day-to-day for a while and it was against his beloved Pistons. What better time to come back and re-injure himself? It was perfect, but not to be. Rip played dress-up and sat on the bench. He watched this shit show like all of us, just from better seats.
Metzler’s Met The game started out with a bang, as Boozer dunked the ball early on. This marked the second consecutive game that Boozer dunked a ball in a Bulls uni. While this may sound commonplace for a power forward in the NBA, Boozer is no ordinary power forward. He is a power forward with hands allergic to the rim. Plenty of aloe vera for those mittens, Booz! … The Bulls got beat on the boards 53-37. While not a recipe for success, that can happen when you have three times as many free throw attempts (21-7). … The Pistons bench was inspired to leave their mark on this one. And they did, by being especially horrid from the field, going 3-21. Yipe. … More stats: Deng had his second 50+% shooting performance (8-15). Huzzah! Kyle Korver & John Lucas III Esquire had matching 1-7 FG night. Boo! AND Korver did not bleed in this one. Weep. … Detroit Pistons announcer, George Blaha, would often exclaim, “Fills it up!” when a player hit a shot. The entire game it kept reminding of that scene in Election when Jim McAllister is screwing his wife and Tracy Flick’s face pops in the screen and says, “Do me Mr. M. Do me. Fill me up.” Yeah. … Jonas Jerebko should change his name to Jericho, single name. (When games are as difficult to watch as tonight’s, these are the kind of thoughts that pop into your head.) … And finally, Pistons assistant coach: Brian Hill or Beltin’ Bill Melton?