Who is the new Bogans?

Keith Bogans was let go yesterday. I will give you a moment to take in that statement… Are we OK? Yes. Alright. With Keith gone, we lose the scapegoat for the Bulls lack of success last season (and by “lack of success,” I, of course, mean going to the Eastern Conference Finals). Thus raises the question: Who will be the new Bogans? Let us take a gander at the field, shall we? (Note: You need to be a starter to be the Bogans and the odds are supposing there will even be a Bogans)


He keeps "the ladies creamin'"

Carlos Boozer: 2-1 Obviously, Boozer is the heavy favorite. Hell, many may think that he got more blame than Bogans, seeing his large contract and lackluster performance in the playoffs. Yes, he was hurt, but the fans could care less. With his soft game and defense that resembles a donkey’s corpse, Boozer never fit into the team’s identity. You add to that the large contract and high expectations, and you have a player who is as easy to turn on as Willie Beamen.

Rip Hamilton: 4-1 There is a lot of excitement surrounding the player who is hoped to be the bizarro Bogans. Seeing that this fanfare is heaped upon a soon to be 34 year old, former Piston, makes one wonder how quickly fans will turn on him if his game is not there.

Luol Deng: 5-1 Luol was the workhorse last season, but Deng was the goat before last season. Thibs had to sing his praises about every time he opened his mouth before most Bulls fans came back and supported our man from Sudan. Life is not fair, and all it would take is a nagging injury to get sausage-breathed blowhards dismissing him again.

Ronnie Brewer: 10-1 It is possible that Brewer pulls the very definition of a Bogans, i.e. becomes an unlikely starter. If this goes down, he will be a damn-near lock to be the Bogans.

Joakim Noah: 20-1 A fan favorite with a game built on defense and hustle make it difficult for Noah to become the Bogans. Yet, with the free-spirited Noah there is always the possibility of him pulling something Hurd-esque. Other than that, I doubt even a season with nagging injuries does much to the apple of Chicago’s eye.

Derrick Rose: 999-1 Chicago’s basketball Jesus*. Is it possible that the reigning MVP regresses to the point in which the fans turn on him? Possible, I suppose, but I would give better odds on Bogans signing with the Lakers and taking Kobe’s spot in the starting five.

*Jordan is God

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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