What a World!

I usually keep to only your Chicago Bulls, basketball-wise, but today sure was a humdinger! With the way it has gone, I fully expect my Monta-to-the-Bulls dream to wrap up by midnight. Shall we recap?

I'll sign Shane Battier, and your little dog too!

Shane Battier to the Heat: Bulls fans already wondering who is our two guard panacea go into panic-mode, as now the Heat (i.e. the only team standing in our way of winning a title, according to Bulls fans) acquire a great perimeter defender! Clearly the season is over – and fat training camp has not even began.

Caron Butler to the Clippers: An option that everyone seemed to be all ho-hum about, signed with another team, adding gasoline to the flames the Battier move created. Suddenly, Butler was the answer for the Bulls and now they are screwed.

Eddie Curry to the Heat: My personal fav. I assumed that Curry would have taken the millions he earned in his last deal to eat cheeseburgers until he died of a tapeworn/heart attack/that guy from Se7en slaying him for gluttony. Instead, he convinced a professional sports franchise that he can waddle around the court. My guess is that he wasted his millions in some lucrative fast food venture and now needs Frito-pie money.

Tayshaun Prince staying with the Pistons: While Curry was the funniest, my most hated team’s move to not rebuild and remain in a constant state of squalor brought the most satisfaction. My only guess is that the Pistons really wanted to drop $27 million to make sure that they are not in a strong position to land the #1 pick in what should be a very fruitful 2012 draft.

Tyson Chandler to the Knicks: The Knickerbockers are willing to give a Tyson Chandler, who has seen a many ‘o injuries, $50+ million over four years and, supposedly, amnesty Chauncey Billups in the process? Even if they are able to move Stoudemire for Chris Paul (as is rumored) does this make them a championship caliber team? NY seems to be headed to an era of BIG MOVES and nothing else. (I am fine with it.)

THE DOOSIE – Chris Paul to the Lakers: As of post-time, who the hell knows what is going on here. Chris Paul was apparently moving to the Lakers in a three team swap (with the Hornets and Rockets), shipping out Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. Then the NBA (who own the Hornets) supposedly nixed the trade because… um… their the MOTHER-LOVING NBA, that’s why! I guess the owners who do not own the Lakers decided they did not like the Lakers getting Paul, then presumably moving on Dwight Howard. Tits.

I am fully expecting to wake up tomorrow morning and find out that black is white, up is down…

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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