NB’s Universe of Sport!

According to science, the bird at the end of Blue Velvet is the best thing happening in sports today.

Sorry, brethren, I have been on a diabolical diet as of late, which has zapped me of all energy to write. I figured I could take a moment between chewing on a piece of celery to get y’all caught up with the world of sports. I put some nifty bullet-points together that encompass everything happening in the sporting world. You’re welcome. Goodnight.

  • Game 7 of the World Series is on tonight. Watch it. I know, I know, it is the Rangers and Cardinals, two teams with rice cake appeal. But it is a Game 7 and you are American (presumably).
  • Speaking of which, many baseball fans/analyst keep bringing up how “excited” and “pumped” Ron Washington looks in the Rangers dugout, yet none of them bring up the fact that this dude was busted for coke just a few years back. Sorry, but it seems like a little more than a coincidence that a former (?) coke user is jumping up and down in the dugout like, well, a cokehead. Being a supporter of cokehead managers in baseball, this is the sole reason I am pulling for the Rangers (barely edging out steroid using hitting coaches).
  • The NBA lockout talks are said to be progressing, with a deal to be expected soon! On the down side, they are also said to be trying to fit in all completely unnecessary 82 regular season games, but delayed one month! Here they have the perfect opportunity to cut the season to something more manageable, but are opting for the slow burn.
  • The NFL blows. There are far too many interpretive rules and really too many rules all together (which really are needed because the game is inherently flaw with violence). In addition to that, there are a half dozen commercials and three flags for every play ran on the field. Yes, I agree it is a great sport to drink to, but try watching that shit sober. I dares ya! Oh yeah, there is always college football if you like the NFL, but wish the players were shittier and made a bunch more mistakes. Wait, where’s the appeal to that? Ah, passion! And a nonsensical post season!
  • The NHL started. I think. I mean it is the end of October and they usually have began already… right? Go Nordiques!
  • New Zealand won the Rugby World Cup last weekend (I did not know it was going on either), which is a mere excuse to post the greatest pregame ritual in all of sports, the haka:

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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