Game #82: NJ Nets 92 – Chicago Bulls 97

Drink: NB Manhattan

“I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet.” – Capt’ Willard

Derrick Rose passes to 6'+ rabbit, Harvey.

Lordy, Lordy, Lord, it is the end of the regular season. I could never agree more with the saying about the regular season: It is not a sprint on your liver, it is a marathon on your liver. Yup, yup. The amount of whiskey (even without the other various kind of hooch) I ingested during this regular season was enough to kill a lesser of an alcoholic Bulls journalist. Yet, my loyal readers, we did it. We got through the way too f’n long regular season! And yes, I drank my share of NB Manhattans to celebrate. I felt like Captain Benjamin L. Willard in the beginning of Apocalypse Now, dancing around in my underwear, moving from Manhattans to downing booze out of the bottle, punching mirrors, and crying next to my bed. My condo has seen better days. It was all very fitting, really. The movie opens with a great visual barrage with the Doors’ The End playing over it. It was the end of the regular season. We did it, ladies and gents. We did it.

Way back in the summer of 2010, America was a different place. No one knew where Libya was on a map, most people could not tell you if Elizabeth Taylor was dead or alive, life had not destroyed my innocent ways, DJ HatesYou was waiting to get hitched, and we were all anxiously awaiting the release of Machete. Soon we were hit with the reality of the Bulls losing out on Dwayne Wade, LeBron, and Co., settling for Carlos Boozer and host of role players, I was left a bit unsatisfied – as I am sure was the case you many of y’all. Instead of getting down, I embodied the American spirit, and decided to start a Bulls site that would bring news and review every last mother-grabbing game. Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a Chicago Bulls blog, and for my sins, they gave me one. We opened this site with a boatload of optimism and, oddly, that optimism turned into some reality.

The Bulls locked up their 62nd and final win of the regular season tonight, and it was none too pretty. If some young chap would have pulled on my tuxedo tails back in the aforementioned summer of 2010, asked for a pence for a look into the future, and told me – after said pence was flicked into the dirty little grifter’s palm – that the Bulls would win 62 games while I commented on how it was an ugly win, I would have split my sides laughing. And here are, the Bulls took their 62nd victory and will at least tie the Spurs with the best record in the NBA (as of this sentence, San Antonio is down 43-56 to the Suns). In short, the Bulls eliminated the rest of the NBA with extreme prejudice.

Clean is dancing to Butler's +12 tonight.

The Bulls started tonight’s game with their full slat of starters, which was surprising, with Noah seemingly re-messing up his right ankle (a technical term) in last night’s game. And that was a bit funny too, seeing as most of the starters looked completely  uninterested in this contest, save Noah. The bench filled in earlier than normal, and with the starters’ lack of gumption, that ended up being the story of the game (61 -53, Suns at the half). The bench was more than solid in this one, opening up a lead in the 2nd quarter. Rasual Butler (a poet warrior, in the classic sense) was inserted early in this one and was smooth as Tyrone “Clean” Miller. In the words of C-Booz, “Goddamn, Butler looks – hey! And one! Hey!” And speaking of “hey,” Ron Harper was, hey, sitting next to, hey, Scottie Pippen. (I am hardly making fun of the former Bulls guard, I genuinely miss his hey’s. I loved his excitement after games.)

This was a messy, stupid game, in which Tom TibThibodeau trusted-the-bench/rest-his-starters to finish the game. It was good to see Kyle Korver find his stroke better than he has recently, and Butler’s play makes me wonder if he will get some play in the off-season. Before tonight, I would have answered that query with a, “Hell no.” Yet, after tonight’s performance and the question of Brewer’s health (John Paxson said of Brewer, “We’re optimistic that he’s going to be fine for the playoffs.”), I think there might be a place for Rasual.

In the end, the Nets smelled like napalm in the morning. The Bulls eliminated Kurtz and all was well. The Bulls were cruising (Spurs 79 – Suns 87) to 22 (an inside joke only I may get).

I thank y’all for reading through this wonderful regular season. I cannot wait to keep reporting throughout the playoffs. And if you were wondering, we sit on our helmets so we do not get our balls blown off.

Or, if you prefer…

(91-97, Suns)

(97-102, Suns)

(102-101, Suns – 7.6 seconds left)

The San Antonio Spurs lose to the Phoenix Suns (The horror… the horror), thus locking up the absolute, uber allles, most bestest record ever – in the year of 2011 – in the NBA, granting them home court advantage throughout the playoffs. Manhattans on the house!!! A no-brainer if there ever was one, three Reagans!!!

Disneyland? F@#k, man, this is better than Disneyland!

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in Middle Finger to Thumbs Up Scale, Road to Seventh Title, The Beard, Winning Ugly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Game #82: NJ Nets 92 – Chicago Bulls 97

  1. goodluckjanine says:

    Nice job on the regular season blog! Can nobulljive handle the post season??

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