A Very Chicago Bulls All Star Weekend

Ah, All Star Weekend. In addition to the meaningless All-Star Game that took place tonight, the weekend has been filled up with a hodgepodge of other vain, but at times entertaining events. Since there were a few Chicago Bulls involved, let’s recap, shall we? In chronological order:

  • Watch out Pip, that Troll wants his bridge toll!

    Chicago Bulls Hall of Famer and Ambassador, Scottie Pippen, got us started off with a marquee performance in this year’s illustrious edition of the All Star Celebrity Game on Friday. Pippen put up a game-high 17 points, but it was not enough to become game MVP, as the fans appreciated Justin Bieber’s troll-ass a bit more.

  • Following Pippen’s game was the Rookie-Sophomore Game. Do you like none of the defense the All Star Game brings, but wish that the players were younger and not as talented? Well then, this game is for you! Taj Gibson played for the sophomore team. As previously mentioned, this game features little defense. So what did Taj Gibson do on the court? He largely just looked uninterested and confused. However, the game was not without its entertaining moments, a John Wall to Blake Griffin bounce-pass alley-oop being the crème de la crème.
  • Saturday had Taj Gibson playing in a shootout thing that featured a retired player, a WNBA player, and a current player – each teamed up according to a city. It made no sense – even by all star standards. The only reason Taj was on the team is that he was already in town for the Rookie-Sophomore Game and Rose was competing in the Skills Challenge that followed this retarded event. Oh yeah, Chicago lost.
  • Next was the Skills Challenge, where each player put in a half-assed effort to complete an obstacle course. Rose lost. The NBA should have at least asked the players to look like they were trying in this one.
  • Saturday night was topped off by a bunch of hookers and blow the Dunk Contest. Although there were not any Bulls in this event, it was highly entertaining. Blake Griffin won on the fans vote, but the honors should have probably gone to JaVale McGee.
  • Tonight was the All Star Game itself. Derrick Rose started and worked much more as a facilitator than anything else. I did not expect Rose to have a big game, and he did just as such. As with Team USA, Rose played a more subdued role with the star-lined roster. Yet, Rose is hardly without ego, as there were a few times he forced the issue. Overall, it was a typical All Star Game, with little defense and as much showboating as possible. And sadly enough, this is probably the best all star event in any sport. Oh yeah, and what NBA event would be complete without Dwayne Wade hobbling off the court with an “injury”?

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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