Game #51: Chicago Bulls 91 – Utah Jazz 86

Drink: NB Manhattan

I got the Jazz feed on this game, which was somewhere less than spectacular. Get this, Carlos Boozer used to play for the Jazz! Yeah, I know! Ronnie Brewer and Kyle Korver also played for the Jazz as well! However, the Jazz fans don’t like Boozer, but still respect Korver and Brewer. Don’t believe me? Well, there were plenty of pun-filled and clever (redundant, I know) signs in the stands that the announcers pointed out, then fake laughed to. It was a hoot! In honor of these great signs, I will try to be as clever in this post. Anytime I am doing so, I will SPELL IT IN ALL CAPS LIKE A SIGN WOULD. It will make as much as the signs I saw while watching this contest.

Early on the LANE WAS OPEN LIKE BOOZER’S CHOICE TO LEAVE SLC (get it?). This was largely due to KURT THOMAS BEING MORE LIKE KURT SLOWMAS! Thibs being Thibs means there was no chance of Omer Asik starting this game, even though he was a much better match-up against the Jazz line-up. At the 4:26 mark of the first quarter Derrick Rose made a lay-up for their 21st point. The Bulls would not score again for the rest of the quarter and a minute and a half into the next one. You could say THE BULLS HIT ON 21 AND BUSTED!

The second quarter was a disgrace to the game of basketball. IT LOOKED LIKE JAZZ PLAYED BY A BUNCH OF MORMONS & IT WAS HARDLY A BULL MARKET! Although the Bulls had the aforementioned scoring drought, they were still able to build a lead in the second because the Jazz scored a whopping two points in the first 6+ minutes of the second. IT WAS AS INTERESTING AS A MORMON TOWN ON A WEEKEND NIGHT! The only saving grace was an aggressive Rose toward the end of the period. SOME PLEASANT JAZZ FROM ALL THAT BULL. The half ended with the Bulls up 44-41.

It was frustrating to see Rose take a more passive role to begin the third, after successfully pressing the issue to end the half. As a result, the offense grew stagnant and the Jazz captured a small lead. Yet, through some gritty play, the Bulls captured the lead. THE BULLS HAD TRUE GRIT, THE JAZZ HAD TRUE SHIT! Omer Asik was getting more minutes during this quarter and was a large reason for the Bulls turn around. As I have said many times before, the two current centers should be played against the match-ups that suit them better. Asik was definitely the stronger option in this one.

If you enjoy a grinding it out kind of effort, this was the game for you. In addition to that, the first half of this last period would be like Nirvana.  The only highlight was ole Danny Glover dunking, a feat I did not know he was capable of. Somewhere after that spectacular feat, the Jazz color analyst mentioned how Rose is key for the Bulls in the fourth. He then went on to say, “Rose has helped the Bulls to victory 13 times by himself in the fourth quarter.” THE COLOR GUY IS ALL THAT JAZZ. It was shortly after his retarded comment that the game picked up. It was a great back and forth effort that was largely helped by the Jazz not taking advantage of opportunities and Thibs refusal to let Asik close out the game. With defenseless Boozer and Old Molasses Thomas down-low, the Jazz really abused the lane. All of this mattered not, for Rose was able to convert two free throws with 13 seconds left to seal the game. WATCHING A FUGLY GAME… 5 MANHATTANS. LISTENING TO UTAH ANNOUNCERS… DRINKING OUT OF THE BOTTLE. A BULLS WIN… PRICELESS.

In the end, I drank more booze during the game than most of Salt Lake City and the Bulls closed out a close game against a quality opponent on the road. Also, the Bulls avoided their first three-game losing streak of the season and gave hope for a winning record on this road trip. Boozer had a modest effort (14 points, 6 rebounds), while Rose put up 29 points and seven assists (and that was with many teammates missing wide out looks from Derrick).

UN-BULL-IEVABLE GAME AGAINST SOME RHYTHMLESS MORMON JAZZ!

I watched Army of Darkness while writing this review.

About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
This entry was posted in Age of Rose, Derrick Rose, The Beard and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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