Not having Joakim Noah in the lineup sucks. Yes, I said it and do not regret it. The handful of options the Bulls have to replace him are none too appealing. Kurt Thomas, with the rest of Thibodeau’s choices in the starting five, is unsustainable for a few reasons. And they go a little something like this:
Carlos Boozer was signed in the off season for his offense and rebounding prowess. It was not some secret that he lacks the same competence on the defensive end. Since he has suited up for your Chicago Bulls, his defense has topped out at about ducky. With Noah handling the lane next to him, the Bulls are fine on front court defense. With Danny Glover as his comrade in arms, athletic lineups have their way with them. Boozer is a horrid rotation defender. And when an athletic big man gets around him, it can be hardly expected that Old Molasses is going to get to him.
There is nothing wrong with Keith Bogans. He was signed to be the third option at shooting guard and provide some veteran experience to a young core. There is something very rotten about Bogans starting every game for the Bulls this season. He is a decent defender, while his special move on offense is to pass it back to Derrick Rose. That kind of offensive excellence is a glaring weakness when you combine it with his fellow turtle, Mr. Thomas. My guess is that Thibs is jealous of the kind of speed in the middle of the lineup on the South Side and is trying to one up them. Thank God that Pax Garman lost out on the Adam Dunn signing, or we would be in serious trouble.
Now we can turn our heads and give a name to our pain, and that is The Glover. Much like Bogans, there is nothing wrong with signing Kurt to be a backup and veteran presence. And although his hands were tied with Noah going down, there is still something foul about Thibs starting the two-inch vertical wonder. Thomas is a good choice in the starting lineup tonight. He is going up against Shaq. The two can clog the lane and talk about old radio programs they used to enjoy while complaining that their decaf coffee ain’t hot enough. Other than slow match-ups like this, he should not be a starting option. He is too slow to get out and defend any center that has a shot and his hop (that he probably claims to be a jump) is not helping him contest any shots anyway. He is good at racking up fouls, and I will concede that point, but so is Omer Asik. Yes, my choice for the starting center is the Turkish Delight. He is an excellent help defender (which Boozer needs) and he can dunk (which is more offense than Kurt can provide).
I guess what I am trying to say here is that I hate Boston. Rajon Rondo is completely overrated. If I played with Garnett, Pierce, and Allen on my team, I could average ten assists a game. And let’s not even get started with Kevin the prick Garnett. When I heard he was injured, I was only sad that it was not of the career-ending variety. If hate were poor, dirty, and communists, my hate for Boston would be North Korea. Go Bulls!