Game #35: Chicago Bulls 99 – Philadelphia 76ers 105

Drink: NB Rob Roy

I had some chores/exercise to run about in the ole casa before this one got started. Being disillusioned by music as of late, I like to throw on a movie from the NB collection while I attend to household business. Seeing as how the Philadelphia 76ers were on the slate, I looked for a movie from 1976, and found Rocky (all the more appropriate being set in Philly). This seemed like a homerun on all fronts, especially with Apollo Creed – having far more talent than Balboa – coming out the victor in this one. Ergo, Bulls = Creed, 76ers = Balboa, done and done.

A little of the ole ultra-violence

Well, my brothers, despite the 76ers (one of the better team names in sports) knocking down everything in sight, the Bulls were not faring too bad against the offensive onslaught. The key reason for this was their offense, an offense that concentrated on the ole down low, down low – paramount for an offense that lacks pure shooters. Yet, my friends, we became reminded of what we already knew, Mr. Kurt Thomas is hardly a starting center (more on this later, we’ll call it Slow Moe Dee). At the end of one, Rocky was hanging in there with Apollo, much to the dismay of your gracious journalist and friend.

Unit: DJ TrainWreck took the floor for the second quarter. Let your dear narrator tell you, my droogs, during this whole Winning Ugly phenom, UDJTW has provided an ocular oasis in their play. Today was no different. UDJTW was making miracles happen, just from rappin’ (and by “miracles” I mean they played above average). Oh yeah, Danny Glover is too old for this shit (Slow Moe Dee to follow). After Apollo Creed over played Rocky Balboa, they found themselves only up by two at the half – thanks in large part to missed opportunities by the Bulls to wrap up the period.

Any lack of shooting the 76ers may have experienced as the first half wrapped up, was surely picked up in the 3rd. The gullywaggers started the quarter 8 for 8, my brothers, and the smoke show was on, with a dreaded possible smoke show poop shoot to boot. Much of this – and it would continue through the course of the game – was due to our Bulls giving up the lane (Slow Moe Dee). To give the long and skinny of it, the Bulls put on a wollydanner of an effort, and were outscored 32-18 in the quarter.

Rocky Balboa kept his under-skilled, yet effective shooting to start the fourth, my brothers. The lane continued to be open for a little of the ole in out, in out. Yet, there was hope, my droogs. Down and defeated, the Bulls attacked the rim, looking for fouls and to slow down the game – and they succeeded. It was at this point that you thought Boozer and Rose’s Apollo Creedness offensive superiority would take over and win the game.

And get this, your humble narrator watched as Philly cooled and invited your Chicago Bulls back into this one, but they wanted no part of it. Preferring turnovers and missed shots, our team laid down to get defeated by a far inferior opponent, one in which was without their most talented player, Andre Iguodala.

I started watching the original Rocky, only to get the horrible/absurd Rocky II. I guess if I were to be disappointed, it was only apropos that it took the form of that shitty sequel. To combat the woeful performance and result, I popped in Clockwork Orange while I wrote this review.

Slow Moe Dee will be posted tomorrie, as I simply do not have the juice to do it now, my brothers.


About Judas Pato

Just another hard working member of the press, covering the Chicago Bulls and nonsense - often both, simultaneously.
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One Response to Game #35: Chicago Bulls 99 – Philadelphia 76ers 105

  1. Brian Hewson says:

    Droogs! It took me a few seconds to figure out how I knew the word. I caught parts of this game (apparently, my viewing causes turnovers), but was not as wise as you in my cleansing film choice.

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