As the Bulls 2010 season starts to roll on, it’s about time we took to the stands and asked “how are Bulls fans looking these days?” This is a question that as No Bulljive fashion tsar and a super-smug prick, I’m more than qualified to answer. Let’s check out what we have!
I think we can safely assume that anyone posing for a picture in front of John Salmons at the UC can instantly be labeled as a foreigner, and therefore exempt from all fashion standards of the USA and Bulls-fandom. God damn he’s serious about being seen with John and Joakim.
Well dammit doesn’t this little shit have to go and prove me a liar in only the second picture…….. The horns, the properly rocked jersey, the warm up pants, it’s too much Bulls moxie for one child to handle! Anyone should be, and probably is, glad to call this kid their “step-son who’s staying a while while his mom gets her shit together.”
Oh shit here we go some meat-and-potatoes Bulls fans! Now, should my anti-jersey-shirt stance need any more justification after this wonderful shot of the two side by side? The left side of this photo, despite repping the hottest new addition to the Bulls, clearly looks like shit. In the meantime, bad-ass on the right, despite wearing a Heinrich jersey, fucking knocks it out of the park! Does this dude’s face leave you with any questions? It exudes the confidence of someone saying “Fuck YOU, THAT’S my name!” The crazy bastard even wore black underneath that perfectly matches the home black accents. You know what it takes to sell real estate, or wear a Heinrich jersey with confidence? Personally I’m surprised these two are even hanging out. Wonderful.
If the guy had a Bulls lapel pin on and a red checkered scarf, I’d practically shit myself in amazement and call it a year. As it is we still have plenty of room for improvement, and a few more games to go before we find Bulls perfection.
Son of a bitch, hold the phone! Well, no, not really. Look how proud he is of that yellow and blue monstrosity! The best part about this is that presumably he was standing in front of something resembling a mirror at home and thought “what should I wear with my yellow and blue Jordan shirt to the UC?” He then bravely yelled out “HONEY! Have you seen my green, black and electric yellow Jamaica zip up?” Fucking amazing. A hearty thumbs up to the guy on the right, who I can guarantee you never had any trouble re-finding his seat next to his buddy after piss breaks.
Well, aside from attending the game with what appears to be an unshowered hippy-goblin, she get’s two hoofs up for subtlety and enthusiasm!
Brah, dude, compadre…..you’re not fooling DJHatesyou, hang ten all you want, that fucking jersey shirt looks like dog shit, even in green ah St. Paddy’s Day beer bong duder shiiiiiit yeaaaaaaaaa
Was there any doubt that the guy dip-shitty enough to wear a fucking Yankee hat to a Bulls game was going to complement it with a jersey shirt?
I leave you with the one Bulls fan who really doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks about how he shows his support for the Bulls. This guy is welcome around NB HQ any day of the week, his first three Manhattan’s are on DJHatesyou.
Till next time…….
CALL TO ACTION!!! Bulls fan, send in your photos of yourself in Bulls gear or complete strangers in Bulls gear (Beth Anne-style), and let DJ HatesYou praise it or rip it apart. Send photos to: firstname.lastname@example.org!