If you haven’t heard yet, brace yourself. Carlos Boozer will be out for the first two months of the season after he “came around the corner, fell over a bag, [and] put my arm down to kind of brace myself.” This is some bad news for NB’s #3 ranked player.
The situation is absolutely dripping with irony, as a super secret, inside source that is an expert on dealing with Carlos Boozer’s hands has indeed confirmed to No Bulljive [exclusively!] that the contents of this lifeless, inanimate bag on the floor was actually the Bulls’ collective inside scoring potential minus Boozer himself. That he should trip over something so small, tiny, and non threatening is certainly embarrassing. The Bulls and ESPN have been quick to pull out Taj Gibson’s horn from the bag and have already begun blowing it full blast in the hopes that it’s wailing noise and colorful distraction will keep Bulls fans from throwing themselves into the Chicago River in disappointment. Wonderful.
Current reports that the tiny bag actually contained the Bears offense have been completely misreported I can assure you, as even it can score three points in 48 minutes, which the Bulls minus Boozer cannot do from down low.
At least now we can hope for a controversy upon Boozer’s return as to whether or not we really want to replace a red-hot scoring threat like Taj Gibson! Possibly.
Djhatesyou’s opinion, after all is said and done, is that this injury is of no importance whatsoever to the Bulls this year, and could actually be a benefit to both Boozer and the Bulls in a big way. Don’t forget, Luke Skywalker only really became a bad-ass after Darth Vader cut off his right hand. I feel a very similar situation brewing, as for the next two months it’ll be up to Taj Gibson, Luol Deng, and Joakim Noah to forge their way into the season, then kick some ass at Jabba’s Palace and lay the way for Boozer to close the deal at the end with his brand spankin’ new mechanical right hand!
Is Noah Han Solo? Luol Deng Leia? What is what in this Bulls/Star Wars universe? I don’t know, so let No Bulljive know in the comments if your up for it! I’m so amped up for the Bulls season right now I want to wake the NBA up and make them start this thing tonight!
Even better news just, just in! Noah signed to a five-year extension! Yes! Our troubles are over man……..